Friday.

Song of the day: Don't Carry It All by the Decemberists

For the past few days, I have had no drive to do anything... at all. This is, of course, bad because I haven't gotten anything done but lounge around on my bed and eat.

Also, eating has become an issue. It seems that after I eat anything after thee in the afternoon, I get a massive stomach ache and I hate life (which doesn't really change, I always seem to be hating life recently).

So, here we have come to the present. It's Friday night, I am sitting on my bed with people out in my living room that I don't really care to hang out with (because I'm not really one to hang out with people who aren't really my friends. It just doesn't sound like much fun), I have a stomach ache from eating dinner, and I am listening to some old playlist.

In case you didn't know this already, I am a social leper freak who doesn't do anything with her life.

Nice to meet you.

So, what am I doing on this exciting Friday night?

I am not doing homework, obviously. I am blogging, and writing a little, and maybe drawing later, and then I am going to bed.

Nice.

Oh, and I might as well mention the crazy wind outside. I am not going anywhere any time soon. Maybe this will get all of my stationary energy out.

things.

Song of the Day: Hourglass by Mindy Gledhill

For a while now, I have wanted to just sit down and make a list of things that really... make me me? I don't think that's the best way of putting it, but neither is saying "stuff I likes" because I like a lot of things and that would be an incredibly long lists.

But then again, I do like making lists...

If you don't know, I am obsessed with Hello Kitty.

Why?

I have no idea. I just think she is the cutest thing ever (aside from myself, of course). She's like my little fashion icon. Just everything... about adorableness and stuff.

I have a great vocabulary.

I have kept a journal since freshman year in high school. Fact. I just love writing in journals; it feels so... good! It's almost as good as making lists. It is even better when you make a list as your journal entry (in fact, I think I am going to do that tonight).

I finished my third journal last Friday, and I was so excited to start a new one.

Actually, I complain a lot in my journal entries. But really, it's kind of therapeutic. I feel better when I get all my emotions out on paper (that hopefully no one will read... maybe one day).

I get excited over art supplies, especially pencils. I used to be very into art and whatnot until about junior year. I simply did not have enough time for it. Recently, I have been starting to get back into it, and I love it!!

I'm still really bad at it, but I don't think that will ever change. I'll just keep on doodling (for the rest of my life).

In a perfect world, I would wear dresses every day. Seriously. I just love wearing dresses. Perhaps this is because I am really a girlie girl (which I never knew until I was informed sophomore or junior year by Miss Jane Hutchins in German class. Fact).

Another thing associated with this picture is my hair. I never really cared to let it do what it wanted to until recently (when I figured out how to fix it properly). I'm kind of obsessed with it. It's wavy (and I am a freak).

In case you're wondering, I am growing it out again. I don't know how long I will let it grow though... We will see. (:

I love love love fresh fruits and vegetables. I know, I'm a freak (I think we've covered this), but there is nothing better than to sit down to a veggie platter or a big bowl of strawberries or grapes or oranges or honeydew... yum.

I close my eyes, and all I see are flowers. I adore flowers, floral print, etc.

It's so... lovely (my favorite word).

<3

I love nostalgia. Like, I think it's kind of a weird obsession. When I'm bored, I like to sit down and watch an old episode of whatever cartoon series was popular when I was ten. I have incorporated N'SYNC and Backstreet Boys (among some other favorites) into my music collection, etc.

Seriously, it's great. Everyone needs a dose of nostalgia every once in a while.

Again, we are going to visit my perfect world. In Neffyland, it would be law for you to read a new book every two weeks. Why? Because reading enriches your senses (or something like that crap). It's amazing and refreshing to just sit down and read something, whether it be intellectual or not. For example, I read the Hunger Games (the first book) in four and a half hours. It was great.

I just love reading. This is probably a good thing since I am an English Major, after all.

Ever since I was little, I have had an obsession with dogs. All dogs. Like, when I was ten or eleven or something, I told my mother that I wanted to have fifteen Caviler King Charles Spaniels and a Border Collie when I grew up. I'm not even kidding.

I would still love to have a King Charles, but I have revised my dream to just a pug. A little pug named Henry, and his nickname would be Hen-chan because I can do something like that.

I suppose this is another "no duh." So, I'm just going to lump a few into this one.

1. Danny Phantom is the greatest American made cartoon ever made. Okay, that's probably not true, because I also like Rugrats, Doug, Phineas and Ferb, etc. I just like Danny Phantom... a lot.

2. Sailor Moon and Full House describe my childhood, oh, and Boy Meets World (along with the normal stuff like Blues Clues, Powerpuff Girls, Dexter's Laboratory, etc.... Do you see now why I love nostalgia so much?).

3. Now, all I seem to watch is Glee, those trashy reality shows on MTV (Teen Mom, I Used to be Fat), and almost every show on TLC.

Music.

I could go on and on about how glorious music is. All kinds of music.

But I'm sure you're aware of this by now.

Or at least, you should be.

(OKAY. In brief, I have played to flute since I was nine, picked up the piano a year ago, and I love to sing, and have loved to sing since as long as I could remember. I once even tried to sing myself to sleep when I was little. Of course, we should mention my obsession with listening to just about any kind of music except for like hip hop, rap (because they are the same thing in my mind), and twangy country music)

Bows make the world go round. They also complete every outfit. Whenever I am drawing something, and it's lacking something, I just add a bow.

And it's perfect then.

This is another requirement for perfection in Neffyland. I could wear a lot of bows.

Okay, you can get over how totally cute this picture is now (false. you will never get over how cute this picture is).

I love children. I think this is because I'm a girl, but then again, everyone should love children.

I honestly am looking forward to the day I can have my own (but don't hold your breath.. It will most likely be YEARS before this will happen).

Also, I like Harry Potter a lot.

I am a lazy OCD person. I love having everything organized and clean and perfect, always. This really sucks when you have a bunch of room mates who... don't care... ever. So, I could give into these urges to seriously deep clean everything, but I don't because they would get like a million times worse or something.

Also, I never knew how much I liked having things neat and clean until I came to college. It makes me want to go home and clean my room, but when I get home, the last thing I want to do is clean. Hence the lazy OCD.

Last, but not least, I love photography. Just in general, I think it's beautiful. While making this post, I kind of just wanted to put a ton of pictures in the post and leave it be.

But then I realized, I already have a blog like that:

ohlovelyy.tumblr.com

where I complain when I don't want to put it as a status on fbook/my photo blog.

Also, this is kind of my all time favorite photo at the moment. (:

Okay, okay. I will mention my love for my church. It really has shaped me into me.

I love being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints!

Tuesday.

Song of the Day: Blank White Page by Mumford and Sons

Most of my days are filled with procrastination, a bit of struggle, and a pinch of frustration. And for the most part, all three of those terms can describe today.

In all honesty, my life really isn't that bad. I just like to pretend that it is to give me something to do and complain about (because I'm really immature).

My day was planned so that I would go to class, come home, finish writing my essay that's due tomorrow, go to the store, make dinner, do the dishes, reread essay, and go to bed. Here is where life decides that it is a good day to throw me under a truck. During my theory class (which was going well because I got 100% on my last two quizzes), I got three text messages in a row and then a phone call.

I started to freak out a little. Okay, I was freaking out a lot because the last time this happened, my sister's apartment burned down.

It turns out that my room mate's grandpa died. Instead of writing my paper, I spent it with her, trying to cheer her up. It's really hard when someone close to you dies. It's also really hard when someone close to you's someone dies.

It's a little awkward because I'm not sure how to help her out. She just seems... so sad, and I hate seeing her like this.

And I still have to finish my paper (which I just have to conclude), but that's beside the point.

I just wish I knew what to do anymore.

eight to five.

Song of the day: The Dreamer by the Tallest Man on Earth

I am terrified to get a job for no reason at all. You see, I have no discipline, or rather, very little. I have a hard time sitting down and doing what I'm told to do. So, I find having a traditional job terrifying.

But jobs are very important for two reasons:

1. Money makes the world go round.

2. It's something to do.

In the end, people have to get a job though, because those are two very essential reasons for living, you kind of need money unless you want to live in a box (which I don't) and boredom sucks. I mean, think about it, leisure time is time you spend doing things you like. If you always did the things you like, you would get sick of them and bored of the repetition and they wouldn't be very "leisurely" anymore, now would they?

So, the majority of people will break down and get a job. Yes?

But still, I don't want to.

It's not like I won't ever get a job though. For example, over the summer, I am going to have to get a job for those very two reasons. I need money for school and it'll be something to do. We all have to face it eventually and conform, you know. Two of my best friends in this entire world are not going to be living in the same town as me this summer because they have decided to be grown up. And I find this frightening. I'm not ready to grow up yet. Or maybe I am. I really haven't decided yet. I just want to blog/write full time, draw a little every once in a while, and listen to music all day everyday.

Is that too much to ask?

It's really scary actually. My dream career isn't exactly the best one to pick either (author/housewife) because neither will make a lot of income for my desired lifestyle (which I imagine most people could picture). Seriously, I am walking into a lifestyle of debt and eating canned soup everyday (unless I miraculously find an amazingly rich husband, but I don't even want to go down that street. I'll probably never get married and live in a box writing stories for rats on the street).

You see why this is scary? I don't see myself doing very well in the future, but I still don't want to do anything else. I have no idea where my life is going.

But, all I do know, is that I refuse to conform and work eight to five everyday and hating my life because of it.

100.

Song of the Day: 20 Years by the Civil Wars

1. I'm actually really unoriginal, so I am copying Jane.
2. For the most part, I hate living in Utah.
3. I am afraid of the future.
4. I love lemon flavored things.
5. I don't think I'm pretty at all.
6. I love children, particularly my neighbor's kids, Lizzie and Andrew Mac, and my nephew, Jace.
7. I have an obsession with cuddling.
8. If I could, I would wear a dress everyday.
9. However, I live in a windy city.
10. And dresses are expensive.
11. My favorite food is dry, cold cereal.
12. I want to publish a novel so badly.
13. I like to swing on swing sets.
14. And color in coloring books.
15. When I was younger, I wanted to be a fashion designer.
16. And then I realized that I am the least competitive person on this planet.
17. I wish I could sing lower.
18. I look like I'm a freshman in high school.
19. I hate my teeth but there isn't anything I can do about them.
20. Starting a new blog has given me inspiration to actually write more.
21. Some days, I feel like dropping out of this "university" and go to an art college instead.
22. But I am afraid that I wouldn't be good enough.
23. I am slightly OCD.
24. I love eating fruits and veggies.
25. I don't like pineapple or coconut.
26. My favorite color is mustard yellow.
27. Shortly followed by: mint green, peach, lavender, heather gray, and periwinkle.
28. I read the first book of the Hunger Games trilogy in four and a half hours.
29. I love reading.
30. I don't read enough.
31. I procrastinate way too much.
32. I daydream a lot.
33. I hate rain.
34. I have a secret dream where I am in an all-male a cappella group.
35. But then it wouldn't be all guys anymore... because I would.. be in it...
36. I guess that dream isn't exactly a secret anymore either.
37. I use google as a spell check sometimes.
38. I love melting chocolate chips on my tongue.
39. I wish people would send me flowers.
40. I am not flirty at all.
41. I love pugs.
42. I love the feeling of my teeth after I brush them.
43. I get excited when I look for my favorite song on my iPod.
44. Sometimes, I don't think I'll ever get married.
45. I love my room mate, Carly.
46. After I graduate college, I want to move to Portland, OR.
47. I wear blush on a daily basis.
48. I have a lazy eye.
49. I measure portion sizes religiously.
50. I wish my hair was more red.
51. I like water. c:
52. We had the missionaries over for dinner tonight.
53. I am afraid of talking on the phone.
54. I am almost done with my current journal (three pages left!!).
55. Laughing is one of my all time favorite activities.
56. I wish I could sew better.
57. I love Glee.
58. Since going to college, I have not gone on a single date.
59. I look through wedding dresses when I'm bored.
60. I download & listen through a 120 song playlist every month. I only keep about 20 of the songs.
61. I didn't know I had dimples until I got contacts in the eighth grade.
62. Oranges mean wintertime.
63. I am allergic to apples.
64. I almost died while going to Girl's Camp last year.
65. I love Hello Kitty.
66. When I'm driving in my car to a song I like, I imagine myself dancing.
67. I love my car.
68. I have kept a journal since freshman year in high school.
69. It wouldn't surprise me if I was depressed.
70. Whenever there's an awkward moment in a conversation, the first thing I think of is puppies.
71. I hate the "country twang".
72. My facebook language is set to English (UK).
73. I love Disney movies a lot.
74. One of my favorite vegetables is broccoli.
75. I really miss playing the flute.
76. I am afraid of horses.
77. I am obsessed with the music of the Nutcracker.
78. I want to go vegetarian again.
79. But because I don't like the taste of meat.
80. Swearing doesn't bother me at all.
81. My dream honeymoon would be a massive road trip.
82. I wish it was spring.
83. I have never had a real job before.
84. More people know me than I know.
85. I don't like to watch a lot of movies.
86. I have really poor circulation, that's why my hands are always cold.
87. My feet are always cold too.
88. I have been told that I have a subtle sense of humor.
89. More often than not, I have a song running through my head.
90. I have played the piano for almost a year.
91. I don't look good in the color pink.
92. I stopped drawing during my junior year.
93. But I want to start drawing again.
94. I have never owned a pair of high heels.
95. I miss my bestest friends in the whole wide world.
96. You know who you are.
97. I want my first born son to be named Luke.
98. I was obsessed with NSYNC as a kid.
99. I am still obsessed with NSYNC.
100. I'm awkward.

on being shy.

song of the day: Olly Olly Oxen Free by Gregory and the Hawk.

So, here she is. That shy girl who bites her cheeks and her face turns pink at any sight of possible embarrassment. But, you know, it's not like I can help it. I have been this way for as long as I can remember. I don't like public speaking or even going to the store alone, but sometimes I wonder if I am better off alone.

Shy people are often not noticed, but there isn't much unnoticed by the shy person. So many things can be running through my head at any moment that I will find myself just daydreaming. As it turns out, daydreaming during a formal class setting isn't really the best idea. I get very lost in class sometimes.

However, I have decided something. This decision started as a challenge my Institute teacher faced me with last Thursday. Basically, the challenge was to smile more. I know, it sounds so silly, but I suddenly have just felt like a happier person just because I have been striving to smile more. Strange, isn't it?

And then, all of the sudden, this morning it hit me. I have become the person I want to be. Of course I'm not entirely that person yet, but I am getting close. Who is this person? Well, it's someone who is cute, happy, stylish, has a great taste in music, and laughs a lot. I'm sure some people might refute and say that I have always been like that, but today I finally felt like it.

My decision? To be this person from now on.