Sleeping/Dreaming

It's Gotta Be You by the Backstreet Boys

It has recently been enlightened upon my mind why I am having such a hard time in school. And by enlightened, I mean lightbulb to the extreme. Well, in reality, it should not have been this hard to figure it out, because it's such a big part of my personality.

I am a total dreamer. I love to sit down and scroll through pictures, write a little, and doodle. I like using my mind creatively. On the other hand, I am also obedient. I do what is expected of me. Therefore, I am in school pursuing something that is I consider to be the most sensible of my talents. I'm sure my family already thinks I'm crazy for "being an author" as my choice of career. I am well aware that writing books isn't going to get me very far.

It also really sucks, just so you know. Saying "I'm an English major," that is. Whenever someone finds that out, they just say, "Oh, are you going to be a teacher?"

NO.

GO DIE.

NOW.

Anyway, back on topic, I am a dreamer. I have a hard time sitting down and doing what I'm told to do when my mind is really not into it. It's like, my whole life has been "sit down, shut up, do what you're told," and now I finally have freedom... kind of. I still feel like I am trapped in life, and I can't stand it.

Really, all I want to do with my life is to write books and draw. I want to be a homemaker. I want to be a mom!

I'm starting to find school to be less and less necessary.

100.

Song of the Day: 20 Years by the Civil Wars

1. I'm actually really unoriginal, so I am copying Jane.
2. For the most part, I hate living in Utah.
3. I am afraid of the future.
4. I love lemon flavored things.
5. I don't think I'm pretty at all.
6. I love children, particularly my neighbor's kids, Lizzie and Andrew Mac, and my nephew, Jace.
7. I have an obsession with cuddling.
8. If I could, I would wear a dress everyday.
9. However, I live in a windy city.
10. And dresses are expensive.
11. My favorite food is dry, cold cereal.
12. I want to publish a novel so badly.
13. I like to swing on swing sets.
14. And color in coloring books.
15. When I was younger, I wanted to be a fashion designer.
16. And then I realized that I am the least competitive person on this planet.
17. I wish I could sing lower.
18. I look like I'm a freshman in high school.
19. I hate my teeth but there isn't anything I can do about them.
20. Starting a new blog has given me inspiration to actually write more.
21. Some days, I feel like dropping out of this "university" and go to an art college instead.
22. But I am afraid that I wouldn't be good enough.
23. I am slightly OCD.
24. I love eating fruits and veggies.
25. I don't like pineapple or coconut.
26. My favorite color is mustard yellow.
27. Shortly followed by: mint green, peach, lavender, heather gray, and periwinkle.
28. I read the first book of the Hunger Games trilogy in four and a half hours.
29. I love reading.
30. I don't read enough.
31. I procrastinate way too much.
32. I daydream a lot.
33. I hate rain.
34. I have a secret dream where I am in an all-male a cappella group.
35. But then it wouldn't be all guys anymore... because I would.. be in it...
36. I guess that dream isn't exactly a secret anymore either.
37. I use google as a spell check sometimes.
38. I love melting chocolate chips on my tongue.
39. I wish people would send me flowers.
40. I am not flirty at all.
41. I love pugs.
42. I love the feeling of my teeth after I brush them.
43. I get excited when I look for my favorite song on my iPod.
44. Sometimes, I don't think I'll ever get married.
45. I love my room mate, Carly.
46. After I graduate college, I want to move to Portland, OR.
47. I wear blush on a daily basis.
48. I have a lazy eye.
49. I measure portion sizes religiously.
50. I wish my hair was more red.
51. I like water. c:
52. We had the missionaries over for dinner tonight.
53. I am afraid of talking on the phone.
54. I am almost done with my current journal (three pages left!!).
55. Laughing is one of my all time favorite activities.
56. I wish I could sew better.
57. I love Glee.
58. Since going to college, I have not gone on a single date.
59. I look through wedding dresses when I'm bored.
60. I download & listen through a 120 song playlist every month. I only keep about 20 of the songs.
61. I didn't know I had dimples until I got contacts in the eighth grade.
62. Oranges mean wintertime.
63. I am allergic to apples.
64. I almost died while going to Girl's Camp last year.
65. I love Hello Kitty.
66. When I'm driving in my car to a song I like, I imagine myself dancing.
67. I love my car.
68. I have kept a journal since freshman year in high school.
69. It wouldn't surprise me if I was depressed.
70. Whenever there's an awkward moment in a conversation, the first thing I think of is puppies.
71. I hate the "country twang".
72. My facebook language is set to English (UK).
73. I love Disney movies a lot.
74. One of my favorite vegetables is broccoli.
75. I really miss playing the flute.
76. I am afraid of horses.
77. I am obsessed with the music of the Nutcracker.
78. I want to go vegetarian again.
79. But because I don't like the taste of meat.
80. Swearing doesn't bother me at all.
81. My dream honeymoon would be a massive road trip.
82. I wish it was spring.
83. I have never had a real job before.
84. More people know me than I know.
85. I don't like to watch a lot of movies.
86. I have really poor circulation, that's why my hands are always cold.
87. My feet are always cold too.
88. I have been told that I have a subtle sense of humor.
89. More often than not, I have a song running through my head.
90. I have played the piano for almost a year.
91. I don't look good in the color pink.
92. I stopped drawing during my junior year.
93. But I want to start drawing again.
94. I have never owned a pair of high heels.
95. I miss my bestest friends in the whole wide world.
96. You know who you are.
97. I want my first born son to be named Luke.
98. I was obsessed with NSYNC as a kid.
99. I am still obsessed with NSYNC.
100. I'm awkward.