random post is random (if not somewhat entertaining).

Song of the day: King of Spain by The Tallest Man on Earth

My goodness, I want it to be December already. Don't get me wrong, November is an absolutely wonderful month, but I'm so over it now. Maybe it was the six inches of snow that did me in because I want it to be Christmas! In fact, I even started listening to Christmas music yesterday (someone please stop me!). The only weird thing about me wanting it to be December (would you call this a weird reason?), is that means I'll be 20 shortly. I mean, 20 just seems so old. All I know how to be is a teenager. On the brightside, I won't be a teenager anymore though because, let's face it, 9 out of 10 teenagers are hormonally obnoxious. No one likes teenagers except teenagers. Sorry, but it's a fact of life. 

But I suppose turning 20 isn't going to automatically solve all of these problems. Being 20... it's like somewhere between a fifth and a fourth of my life is gone. 

I'm not trying to make it seem like I'm afraid of turning 20, because I'm not (much unlike when I was terrified of turning 16... was that really four years ago?). It's more like... I'm old. I'm an old woman. 20-year-olds get married and have babies. I just want to play with my friends and dance around my room without having someone judge me. It's like the older I get the more the youthful fun gets sucked away! My youth is all but gone! Wo is me!

On another note, I thought I should say that I've been watching Merlin lately.. and I'm totally in love. If you don't know what Merlin is, it's basically the story of how the great warlock Merlin became friends with the future King Arthur in Camelot. Merlin moves to Camelot during a time where magic is outlawed and becomes the servant of Prince Arthur (who is played by the BEAUTIFUL Bradley James... sorry, I may or may not be in love with him). It's there adventures together (Merlin saves Arthur's butt a million times, and Arthur never knows it was Merlin saving him. Hilarity). It's family friendly, and it's a lot of fun. It also weaves a lot of the legends together like Excalibur (Sword in the Stone), Lancelot and Gwenivere, etc.And the first three seasons are on Netflix. (:

On a side note about Bradley James, why am I so attracted to British men that are, like, ten years older than me? Seriously, first Matt Smith, and now Bradley James! I should stop watching British TV shows. Seriously. This is awful.

Oh, and one last note (THIS POST IS SO RANDOM), yesterday in my music appreciation class, my teacher shared this... thing called the Beethoven Project. It's a simulation of Beethoven's hearing loss through the years. On the page it has one minute samples of three of his symphonies written at different points of his hearing loss. It'll play the piece as how a person with normal hearing would hear it, and then it'll alternate in five second intervals between the normal hearing and what Beethoven would have heard. It is the most hauntingly beautiful thing I have ever heard in my life, and I'm slightly obsessed with it. 

http://www.pittsburghsymphony.org/pghsymph.nsf/web/sub10beethovenhearing.html

In my opinion, I think the second one is the worst. Don't get me wrong, the last is absolutely horrible, but hearing-wise, the second would have driven me mad. 

filed under things I should use before I turn 20

all I do is make playlists.

Making playlists is literally the most exciting my life is right now. Unless you want to count my many hours of free time I seem to have right now. I do watch a lot of TV shows on Netflix. I'm watching Merlin and Jerchio right now. Interesting stuff, let me tell you. I might write reviews for my blog when I finish them (eventually).

But anyway, I'll share my playlists with you if you care (which you probably don't, of course).

Songs for Autumn:
http://8tracks.com/ohlovelyy/heavy-sweaters-and-yellow-leaves

Anchor by Mindy Gledhill
Black River Killer by Blitzen Trapper
Buffalo by the Deloreans
Cars by Now, Now Every Children
East Harlem by Beirut 
The Hazards of Love I (The Whistles Won’t Wrestle the Tistles Undone) by the Decemberists
I Got by Young the Giant
Janglin by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros 
King of Spain by the Tallest Man on Earth
Little Lion Man by Mumford & Sons
Lovers of Japan/Reign of Love by Coldplay
Mykonos by Fleet Foxes
Part Time Believer by Boy & Bear
The Rake’s Song by the Decemberists
Seven Nation Army by Ben L’Oncle Soul
Somebody That I Used to Know by Goyte
Two Weeks by Grizzly Bear
Wasteland by Rubik
1957 by Milo Greene

A Playlist made for Jane:
http://8tracks.com/ohlovelyy/songs-for-jane 

Awake my Soul by Mumford and Sons
Bigger than Love by My Favorite Highway
Euphorie by Madsen
Fake Palindromes by Andrew Bird
Feel by the Less
Love Me by Yann Tiersen
More Than the World by Mindy Gledhill
Not In Love by Crystal Castles
Only the Young by Brandon Flowers
Shake It Out by Florence and the Machine
Someone Like You by Adele
The Sound of Silence by Simon & Garfunkel 
Time to Mend by Barcelona
To Whom It May Concern by The Civil Wars
Water Night preformed by the BYU Singers 
What a Wonderful World by Louis Armstrong

I don't know about you, but I can be in a semi-coma state for hours and be totally happy about myself.

Song of the Day: Some Boys by Death Cab for Cutie

School is school is school is school.

 I should spend more time studying (because I've gotten two Bs so far on tests... both I'm fairly pleased with because of the amount of studying that I did on them. Sad but true fact), and less time watching Doctor Who. Although, I'm sure in Rhachel's perfect world, I'm doing it right.

Also, I always feel like I'm spending too much money on groceries, but really, I can't help it. Well, I guess I could help it if I decided to stop eating healthy. And bathing. But that's not going to happen any time soon.

So, what has Neffy been doing with her life, you ask? My answer is easy: nothing. I go to school, eat, do homework, and watch Netflix. I feel like my life hasn't changed at all in the past year or so... hah.

Whatever.

Oh, and if you're interested, I'm uploading a couple new mixes onto my 8tracks soon: http://8tracks.com/ohlovelyy. 

<3

a wishlist.

Song of the Day: Sparrow and the Wolf by James Vincent McMorrow

• a digital camera
• music that I actually want to listen to
• a waffle maker
• a shower that actually drains
• to have all of my German vocab memorized
• to not have to go to school would be nice too.

A lonely post.

Song of the Day: http://youtu.be/RJnMLBXm5VA
Cameron Mitchell's Such a Mystery

Hello and welcome back to my semi-normal life. Maybe that will mean I actually, like, update my blog and stuff (because I do so much of that). I think the biggest part of it is that I feel like I have nothing to really talk about on said blog that I am currently writing on. I mean, I don't live an exciting life. I get up, go to school, come home and do my homework, watch something on Netflix, and then go to bed. 

I'm really good at existing, aren't I?

This might be because I don't really have a lot of friends at school. I mean, let's face this, I'm really not good at making friends (sorry). I'm really shy/I have a hard time connecting to a lot of people. I just feel so different from most people. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to be anti-social or anything. I try to be nice to people, and talk to them or whatever. I'm just not good at making friends. It might be a disease or something.

And it doesn't help that my roommates are either never around or are really good at not making any sounds at all. It's nice most days, but when I'm having a day like today, I like to have a little companionship or something, you know? I kind of have had the two extremes of roommates so far: last year, they were always around and being really loud and noisy. It was obnoxious a lot of the time, but it meant that they were there. And I was actually friends with them too. This year, I feel like I'm living with a bunch of strangers because I never see them. I have one roommate that I've probably seen five or six times total. And today, on campus, I was starting my walk home, and I saw a girl that I thought might have been my roommate, but I wasn't sure, so I didn't want to say hi to her and feel totally stupid or something.

Long story short: I'm totally lonely. If you're nearby, please come visit me.

In the meantime, I'll probably watch a movie on Netflix and go to bed since there's nothing else to do. Maybe I'll edit my story... I need to do that. 

Ideas to make my blog better/more interesting:

• list all my anime crushes I've ever had
• post about all my favorite bands/artists
• post about my favorite movies/tv shows/anime
• get a social life
• post about my favorite stories

it's the summer (I think).

um, hi. I'm actually alive (and stuff), I just never seem to blog because I have nothing to blog about (I do nothing really. I watch a lot of anime because I have nothing better to do, and sometimes I'll bake something like sweet potato fries or pull-apart bread. this is why I'm fat, yo).

But really, that's all. I'm an incredibly boring person as it is. That's why I'm all alone. (:

Sleepy Summer.

Song of the Day: Helena Beats by Foster the People

I have no idea why, but I have come to literally forget to blog. Or even read posts. As of the current, I have 24 blog posts to read. So, please, give me a moment to catch up.

Okay. Not that you would have known how long it really has taken me to, eh, skim all 24 unread blogs, but it's done. I suppose. I really don't have much of an excuse to not read everyone's blogs because >it's summer<, my goodness, I'm not doing ANYTHING. This is typical though. It's the same as most summers. I sit at home and read, watch TV, some random anime someone probably suggested to me years ago, amongst other things like going grocery shopping with my mom because she really wants me to get out of the house and do something (like get a job. Since I'm on the subject, I have concluded it's going to be impossible to get for just the summer. Okay, this is based off of the fact that I have had exactly one job interview and I wasn't called back for a second interview, but whatever. It made me realize that no one wants to hire for just summer work really. I mean, I wouldn't hire me anyway, unless I desperately needed workers and I was in a business that actually needed more workers in the summer). 

Speaking of things to do, I have a few things that I should probably get around to at some point in my life. For example, I need to print off my manuscript. I wrote it out of order, and it'll be a pain to fix up on a computer, so I need to print it out. Downside: it's 181 standard pages long. I have checked it out on several printing shops, and it's going to cost around $20 if I don't want anything special done to it. Sigh. It's a necessary expense, I guess. Plus, it'll make me very happy to get it printed off. I really want to work on it. Also, if I get the second draft done, maybe I'll let some of you read it... (:

My mom wants me to pick up a hobby like sewing, and make a skirt or a dress. I really want a maxi actually. I don't know if I can make one of those... can I? I'll have to ask, I guess. I need new clothes anyway. It's another necessary expense, I suppose. 

But other than than, the only other thing I can think of to do is draw. This is something I know I should do because... well... I kind of stopped drawing around junior year (or I drew significantly less than I did in years prior). I find this really depressing since it was around junior year that I actually started to produce work that was actually considered to be decent (compared to other artists that I admire). So, drawing is a yes. I need to do more of it and get better since I'm two to three years behind in development  It's really frustrating actually since I feel like I'm drawing like I'm 14 again.

Maybe I'll make another playlist or something...? 

I suppose I should get used to my loneliness though.I'm always forgotten in the summertime.

Summer.

Song of the Day: June Hymn by the Decemberists

I am currently enjoying my very first day of summer, thank-you-very-much. I spent the majority of today (and yesterday, for that matter), picking things up, organizing, and cleaning, all three of my favorite things to do. I feel supremely better now that everything is in a home (some of it shoved and forced to go into places that I never see.. such as my closet. It has a drying rack in front of it. On it is hanging my entire wardrobe [which is not much]. Why? Because my mother thought it would be a GRAND idea to place plastic shelving full of her craft things in the dead center of my closet. Therefore, nothing can be hung up in there, except for a few things shoved on the side... Where was this going? I don't even remember anymore).

Oh, I should mention that I moved my bamboo plant, which was residing on my the corner of my desk, next to my butterfly chair. Said bamboo plant is actually taller than I am. I actually got it during a New Beginnings when I lived back in Bend, OR. It was a baby then. We were told that these plants represented our testimonies, and that if we nurtured it, they would grow. Well, mine grew. A lot. It's also really wobbly, and kind of has to lean on something or else it'll fall over. I desperately need to repot it and tie it to a stick or something, the poor thing. But yeah, there it is, my testimony plant. 

On a side note that's related, Ashley, my older sister, got the same plant as me. For some reason, her's is not nearly as tall as mine. It still looks like a baby. 

On another side note that's still related, I should name my bamboo plant, yes? I've had it for six years (wow!), and it's kind of become a part of me because I see it like every day (except for the eight months I have been gone). I love my plant. Name ideas? Yes?

It who has not been named.

I semi miss being at school though. It is nice to be home and in my own room, but I miss my cute room mates! Three months without sharing a room with someone? It's gonna be weird... and nice. I have a lot of space and time. Time to write and be creative. I currently have nothing scheduling me to do anything really. I need to get a job badly, but I'm going to worry about that tomorrow or Monday. I am a free woman to do whatever she pleases! I think sleep sounds nice. Hahahah.  

My last day of school really felt like a last day of school though. It was like, I woke up, and I could feel it. It was the end. I am glad my freshman year is over, and I did it without getting a rock on my finger (take that family who said I would be engaged by Thanksgiving!! Not that I'm saying anyone who's getting married/is married who graduated with me is horrible for getting married... Good for you! I am sincerely happy for you! Really! It's just not for me). After our finals were over, Carly and I ran around the parking lot and tagged everyone in our apartment's cars. And then I packed up, and went home. 

This is how the van ended up:

I was the pink marker, and Carly's was the blue/purple one

Yeah baby~~

Sorry for the nasty glare! The sun was right there. But, yeah, I'm ready to drive my CRV again... Not that the Shaggin' Wagon isn't horrible or anything... (;

Anyway, the moral or this post is: it's summer!! I am so ready for the next three months. ((:

Oh, hello May, how are you?

Song of the Day: Hannah by Freelance Whalse

So, it's Sunday, it's May, and I'm listening to an 8track mix compiled completely out of Disney score music. Yes, I am currently procrastinating/increasingly becoming stressed about my papers that are due this week. I mean, seriously, it's Sunday. I don't really want to do homework, but I really need to because this second paper is due on Wednesday. 

But that's about the end of it. Once I finish this paper, my stress level will hit rock bottom (until I start looking for a job). 

Let's just say my life sucks at the moment and there is no end in sight. And jdksidhfjdhsahudfhsjafs Jane finally sent back my first paper (worst paper EVER).

I apologize if all I ever seem to be writing about is schoolwork and papers because, really, that's all that's going on in my life right now. Summer is surely to be worse since NOTHING will really be happening (thank goodness) save it for a job, occasional artwork (I'm taking Drawing I never semester, so I have to, uh, prepare myself for my first art class since Middle School), and reading books.

Maybe my blog will turn into a book review spot...?

Oh, my life. (is boring. always).

Soundtrack to April.

Song of the Day: MY KZ, UR BF by Everything Everything

For anyone who's interested (probably no one), I made a new 8tracks mix of which you can find here~. 

Um, anyway, it's Tuesday on the last week of classes of the semester. Then, I have no school until August!! It's kind of like running a really long race, and you can see the ribbon at the end, but not having enough energy to make it to the end. That's what I kind of feel like.

What I have to do between now and next Thursday:

• Finish my paper about Mormons settling the Salt Lake Valley (10 pp)
• Write a paper post-colonial analyzing A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man and To Kill a Mockingbird (10-12pp)
• Finish my ENGL 2600 final
• Diversity Final (in class)
• German Final (in class)
• Pack
• Pay that stupid $10 parking violation ticket (uuggggggghhhhhhhh, screw you. Visitors were not welcome in "visitor welcome" parking apparently...
• Sell back my textbooks
• Get housing for next semester
• Fill up stupid van gas tank...

I have been having car difficultly lately, speaking of filling up the van's gas tank. Well, on Friday night, I was driving to the store to do grocery shopping for my mom, and my check engine light came on. The weird thing was that nothing seemed wrong with my car at all; it didn't sound funny, and it was driving just as it normally does. But, just in case, I told my dad. My dad was quit busy on Saturday afternoon, so he was planning on looking at it on Monday. The problem was that I had school on Monday... so, that didn't exactly work out too well. My mom and I switch cars, therefore I am driving the mini-van. A Green mini-van. There is no way you can miss me now! 

I'm mostly upset because the van's gas tank is almost empty, whereas I just filled up the tank of my Honda last Thursday, and I'm not going to be seeing any of that gas. So, now I have to fill up another gas tank... and pay a parking fine for parking in VISITOR WELCOME parking on campus. The sign clearly says VISITORS WELCOME, not so much with the (if you have a permit). SCREW YOU. It's only $10, but I'm still very upset over it. IT'S APPARENTLY NOT VISITOR WELCOME PARKING SO DON'T PUT IT ON YOUR EFFING SIGN. 

Hating life. 

Love, Neffy.

Sunny Days.

Song of the Day: I Was Made For Sunny Days by the Weepies

For some reason or other, I get the incredible urge to update my blog on Thursdays.But why Thursdays? Perhaps it is because Thursdays are good days. I like Thursdays because it's almost Friday. On a similar note, I also like Tuesdays because it's no longer Monday. Ya dig?

This is my last full week of classes. Next week, we have Good Friday off, and the following week, Friday is a study day. The week after is Finals week. I'm pretty excited to get school over with for the summer. I am ready for some heat in these bones and some leisure reading/drawing/writing time. Hopefully, I'll get time to finish watching the entire Sailor Moon series. It's a project I started the day after Valentine's Day. Sailor Moon was a huge part of my childhood; I was obsessed! I would print out coloring pages, record episodes, even google Sailor Moon websites built by people who were in love with Sailor Moon (like me) but had the ability to make their own webpage. Watching the series again is a lot of fun, and it's more fun to watch it in its original language (which is the whole purpose of me watching it again... To see the original intent mostly. The English version is nice too though. Maybe I'll watch it in English one day? In like four years from now...)

Also, on a Sailor Moon-y note, they are re-releasing the manga of Sailor Moon in America with new translations. Call me a nerd (which, I'm assuming you all ready have), but I'm really excited for the new releases! If I get money, I fully plan on buying them for my own library. (:

[/end nerd rant]

Between now and Finals, I have to:

1. Write my 10 page ENGL 2010 research paper (which I have nine pages of single spaced notes all ready typed and ready to go. I just have to physically write the paper now).

2. Write/hopefully complete (but it's okay if I don't finish 100%) my ENGL 2600 essay on a Post-colonial reading of James Joyce's A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man and To Kill a Mockingbird (10-12 page paper).

3. Do my ENGL 2600 take-home final (it's on key terms and stuff. Hate you, Literary Theory).

4. Study for my German Final

5. Study for my Intro to Diversity Final

6. Not kill any of my room mates (who are incessantly loud and obnoxious during the hours I typically like to sleep, between 11 and 8. Yes, I sleep a lot. I like to sleep. It keeps me from not killing anyone).

And that's basically my state I will be in for the next three weeks. I'll probably procrastinate a lot and freak out at last minute. But that's okay, I kind of like it that way.

Life So Far.

Song of the Day: Get Some by Lykke Li

As it turns out, when my hair is pulled back in a bun, and I'm wearing a hoodie, I look like I'm five-years-old. I suppose this isn't a huge shock, but still. I just thought I would point that out.

But here I am, sitting on my bed listening to a new album I just got (Parlor Hawk's Hoarse and Roaring. It's divine so far), and with a massive stomach ache (nothing new), contemplating my life. True, I tend to do this more often than not anymore, but still.

All that I have uncovered is that I want to be able to draw flowers. 

Okay, so, maybe there's a little more to it. 

Lately, I actually have been considering switching schools because of my difficulty I've been having with basic academic work for a typical university (On a side note, if anyone know anything about Post-structuralism and Joyce's A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man, let me know. I need help writing a paper). I even talk to my mom about dropping out of school. Her response was that I should do what I want to do, but she thinks that I should stay in school to be around people closer to my age. This makes well enough sense. So, I'm probably not going to drop out of school because of that very reason, and the fact that I am one class short of getting an associate's degree. The bad news about getting the degree itself, is that I can't receive it until the end of the net academic school year. Sucks, no? Looks like I'll be here for another year. But I think I'll be okay. Instead of signing up for classes that I have to take, I'm actually taking a ton of mismatched classes that I kind of want to take, like Drawing I and Children's Literature. True, I still have to take Chemistry and pretend to be an English major (therefore, I have to take German too. This is not so bad though. I like German for the most part), but I really do think next semester will be better.

Anyway, after the year is over, I'm thinking about transferring to an art school, like the Art Institute up in Salt Lake, and studying Interior Design. I know I'm crazy, but it sounds fun, and it sounds like something I really should do.

Don't get me wrong about SUU, I love it here. I have never had a bad professor, and campus is sweet and cozy. I really do love it here, but it's not for me. University isn't for me.

Actually, what I really want to do is find the man of my dreams and get married (my true passion... to raise kids and clean and cook! Yes, I was like this before General Conference, thanks). But I don't see that happening this year. So, I have my plan, and I'm sticking to it.

Unless something awesome happens (like getting married or publishing my book).

Yes, I had to bring up my book. Sunflowers. I've mentioned it once or twice before, yes? Well, actually, an amazing thing happened recently. I finished my first draft of my manuscript! This sounds really exciting, but I wasn't as excited as I thought I would be when I finished for some reason. It's probably because I still have a long way to go with editing and supplementing chapters and whatnot, but still. It's done. I have never finished a manuscript before.

This is amazing. 

This week seemed so long. And now, it's Thursday.  

Goals.

Beside the fact that I am dying a slow death from daily stomach aches, I do try to function as normally as I should be. Okay, so it probably wasn't normal that I cried throughout the ENTIRE A Cinderella Story, but I do what I can.

Lately, I have been wondering why I haven't been able to focus (yeah, I am blogging instead of doing homework) on anything (see what I mean? I'm totally A.D.D.), but I thought I would at least have a few goals to work on for the next several weeks:

1. Stop chewing finger nails. It's a nasty habit that I have. It's on and off, really, but I'm trying. I even painted my nails today, in hopes that it'll help somewhat. I want pretty nails... (:

2. Finish ENGL 2010 research paper. I want this to be done in the next several weeks, like, around General Conference. Once it's finished, I don't have to go to the class anymore. Nice, no? Not to mention, it's supposed to be 10-12 pp long, and I have another 10-12 pp paper due at the end of the semester on top of this one.

3. Finish Sunflowers. If you're not aware what Sunflowers is, don't ask. Only one/maybe two people will even care about this. I just want to finish it mostly. (:

4. Figure out why I am dying a slow death due to stomach aches.

yep. That's about it. I'm sorry my blogs are few and far between. I like to blog sometimes, but I feel like all I do is complain, and I also feel like not many people even care that I blog. So, I just do when I feel like it.

That's all.

my nostalgia playlist.

http://8tracks.com/ohlovelyy/nostalgia

I spent nearly two days on this. Well, not this particular playlist, but a much larger one I'm keeping on my iTunes. Maybe I did it to make myself feel somewhat accomplished since it's Spring Break (accomplished: sat on my butt, watched the end of Sailor Moon R, made this playlist, cleaned my room, procrastinated on homework... yep, fairly average Spring Break here. I wish I had more will to do things).

Basically, it contains a sampling of my favorite music when I was in elementary school. I think my next playlist will be sixth grade to sophomore year. After that, my music taste has stayed pretty consistent. 

But I'll leave that playlist to another day. 

The List (if you listen to it, the order should be different from this. It's randomized every time it's played):

• The Hardest Part of Breaking Up (Is Getting Back Your Stuff) by 2gether
• Spinnin' Around by Jump5
• Mmmbop by Hanson
• He Loves Me (He Loves You Not) by Dream
• I Want It That Way by the Backstreet Boys
• The Call by the Backstreet Boys
• Bye Bye Bye by 'NSYNC
• Beautiful Soul by Jesse McCartney 
• Summer Girls by LFO
• Pop by 'NSYNC
• Never Had a Dream Come True by S Club 7
• S Club Party by S Club 7
• I Need Love by 'NSYNC
• Tearin' Up My Heart by 'NSYNC
• When the Lights Go Out by 5ive
• Come Clean by Hilary Duff
• What Dreams Are Made Of by Hilary Duff
• The Sign by Ace of Base
• ...Baby One More Time by Brittany Spears
• Bouncing Off the Ceiling by A*Teens
• Stride (Jump on the Frenzy) by Aaron Carter
• Another Earthquake by Aaron Carter
• Gimmie Gimmie Gimmie by A*Teens

nostalgia.

Okay. Confession: I love nostalgia. Seriously. I'm like obsessed with it (always). Some days I have it more than others, but it's been eating at me for the past few days. I'm actually rewatching Sailor Moon (one of my favorite shows growing up) in my spare time.

Also, I'm making a nostalgia playlist. It's taking a lot more time than I ever thought it would.. but it'll be worth it. I'm making a big one on my iTunes, but when I'm done, I'll make an 8track playlist too. 

Note 8tracks. It's heaven. Seriously. Get an account and go to heaven with me~

Anyway, I'm only blogging because I'm waiting *patiently* for Happy Nation to download. I only have a few minutes left (thank goodness. It's been nearly a half hour! Apparently my patience is feeling nostalgic too and I'm slowly turning into a five-year-old). 

But that sums up my Spring Break. That and I have been reading (The Lovely Bones). As you can see, I am an inspiring person. Interesting person on the year, right here.

I'm sure many people care. (:

apology.

If I ever sound like I'm depressed, I'm really not. I promise.

It's not that I try to be depressing... I just am. And that's why people don't like me.

That was depressing.

I'm going to shut up now.

hair.

Song of the day: Rainside by Agnes Obel

Lately, I have been having a love-hate relationship with my hair. I really want to grow it out and braid it, etc...

Fun fact: My hair has been short since 28 February 2009. My hair is the longest it has been in over two years! That's like a mission.

Speaking of missions, I would like to, uh, publicly (?) declare my excitement for Sir Cody Eckman for being called to Africa. That is super exciting!! It seems like the perfect place him to go, yes?

Anyway, my love-hate relationship I have going on.

I want to grow my hair our, but it has recently gotten really heavy and it's having a hard time curly/waving/whatever my hair does). I love my curly hair and I'm afraid if I grow it too long it will just be gross... :(

Also, my hair grows really fast. It's kind of scary.

Carly and I being goobs, September 2010

Today, 5 March

Spring Fever.

Song of the Day: The Concurrence of All Things by Big Tree

Last night, my room mates (Carly, Megan, and Bree) and I went down to the good ol' STG and went to the temple. We arrived around 3, and it was absolutely beautiful there. It was probably about 62 degrees and sunny and glorious. It was glorious inside the temple as well (just so you know).

But ever since we went down there, I have had the worst spring fever ever. And this weather is not helping much either. It was in the mid-50s, partly cloudy.... It's not perfect, but it's better than being freezing cold with a foot of snow.

So, today, Carly and I opened out window a bit and cleaned our room. I never knew how OCD I was until I got my own apartment with five other girls. I love having things to be clean and straight and tidy. And I feel my best right after I'm done cleaning because everything is... clean! And that's the way it should be. (:

Anyway, I have completed my day by doing two of my favorite activities, coloring and playing the piano. So, I have to say, today has been a success even if it is a Thursday.

On a complete side note, I have implicated the following survival strategy for my weeks:

Monday: Is it Friday yet? (complain a lot)

Tuesday: Is it Friday yet? (complain a lot)

Wednesday: Is it Friday yet? (complain less because the week is half over)

Thursday: Tomorrow is Friday! (be somewhat happy with life)

Friday: All I have to do is live through class and I'm free! (complete happiness)

Saturday: CRAP! I have an essay due Monday! (procrastinate somewhat)

Sunday: Church~ But I still have to finish my homework... (sadness that tomorrow is Monday)

And repeat.

Sleeping/Dreaming

It's Gotta Be You by the Backstreet Boys

It has recently been enlightened upon my mind why I am having such a hard time in school. And by enlightened, I mean lightbulb to the extreme. Well, in reality, it should not have been this hard to figure it out, because it's such a big part of my personality.

I am a total dreamer. I love to sit down and scroll through pictures, write a little, and doodle. I like using my mind creatively. On the other hand, I am also obedient. I do what is expected of me. Therefore, I am in school pursuing something that is I consider to be the most sensible of my talents. I'm sure my family already thinks I'm crazy for "being an author" as my choice of career. I am well aware that writing books isn't going to get me very far.

It also really sucks, just so you know. Saying "I'm an English major," that is. Whenever someone finds that out, they just say, "Oh, are you going to be a teacher?"

NO.

GO DIE.

NOW.

Anyway, back on topic, I am a dreamer. I have a hard time sitting down and doing what I'm told to do when my mind is really not into it. It's like, my whole life has been "sit down, shut up, do what you're told," and now I finally have freedom... kind of. I still feel like I am trapped in life, and I can't stand it.

Really, all I want to do with my life is to write books and draw. I want to be a homemaker. I want to be a mom!

I'm starting to find school to be less and less necessary.

Friday.

Song of the day: Don't Carry It All by the Decemberists

For the past few days, I have had no drive to do anything... at all. This is, of course, bad because I haven't gotten anything done but lounge around on my bed and eat.

Also, eating has become an issue. It seems that after I eat anything after thee in the afternoon, I get a massive stomach ache and I hate life (which doesn't really change, I always seem to be hating life recently).

So, here we have come to the present. It's Friday night, I am sitting on my bed with people out in my living room that I don't really care to hang out with (because I'm not really one to hang out with people who aren't really my friends. It just doesn't sound like much fun), I have a stomach ache from eating dinner, and I am listening to some old playlist.

In case you didn't know this already, I am a social leper freak who doesn't do anything with her life.

Nice to meet you.

So, what am I doing on this exciting Friday night?

I am not doing homework, obviously. I am blogging, and writing a little, and maybe drawing later, and then I am going to bed.

Nice.

Oh, and I might as well mention the crazy wind outside. I am not going anywhere any time soon. Maybe this will get all of my stationary energy out.

things.

Song of the Day: Hourglass by Mindy Gledhill

For a while now, I have wanted to just sit down and make a list of things that really... make me me? I don't think that's the best way of putting it, but neither is saying "stuff I likes" because I like a lot of things and that would be an incredibly long lists.

But then again, I do like making lists...

If you don't know, I am obsessed with Hello Kitty.

Why?

I have no idea. I just think she is the cutest thing ever (aside from myself, of course). She's like my little fashion icon. Just everything... about adorableness and stuff.

I have a great vocabulary.

I have kept a journal since freshman year in high school. Fact. I just love writing in journals; it feels so... good! It's almost as good as making lists. It is even better when you make a list as your journal entry (in fact, I think I am going to do that tonight).

I finished my third journal last Friday, and I was so excited to start a new one.

Actually, I complain a lot in my journal entries. But really, it's kind of therapeutic. I feel better when I get all my emotions out on paper (that hopefully no one will read... maybe one day).

I get excited over art supplies, especially pencils. I used to be very into art and whatnot until about junior year. I simply did not have enough time for it. Recently, I have been starting to get back into it, and I love it!!

I'm still really bad at it, but I don't think that will ever change. I'll just keep on doodling (for the rest of my life).

In a perfect world, I would wear dresses every day. Seriously. I just love wearing dresses. Perhaps this is because I am really a girlie girl (which I never knew until I was informed sophomore or junior year by Miss Jane Hutchins in German class. Fact).

Another thing associated with this picture is my hair. I never really cared to let it do what it wanted to until recently (when I figured out how to fix it properly). I'm kind of obsessed with it. It's wavy (and I am a freak).

In case you're wondering, I am growing it out again. I don't know how long I will let it grow though... We will see. (:

I love love love fresh fruits and vegetables. I know, I'm a freak (I think we've covered this), but there is nothing better than to sit down to a veggie platter or a big bowl of strawberries or grapes or oranges or honeydew... yum.

I close my eyes, and all I see are flowers. I adore flowers, floral print, etc.

It's so... lovely (my favorite word).

<3

I love nostalgia. Like, I think it's kind of a weird obsession. When I'm bored, I like to sit down and watch an old episode of whatever cartoon series was popular when I was ten. I have incorporated N'SYNC and Backstreet Boys (among some other favorites) into my music collection, etc.

Seriously, it's great. Everyone needs a dose of nostalgia every once in a while.

Again, we are going to visit my perfect world. In Neffyland, it would be law for you to read a new book every two weeks. Why? Because reading enriches your senses (or something like that crap). It's amazing and refreshing to just sit down and read something, whether it be intellectual or not. For example, I read the Hunger Games (the first book) in four and a half hours. It was great.

I just love reading. This is probably a good thing since I am an English Major, after all.

Ever since I was little, I have had an obsession with dogs. All dogs. Like, when I was ten or eleven or something, I told my mother that I wanted to have fifteen Caviler King Charles Spaniels and a Border Collie when I grew up. I'm not even kidding.

I would still love to have a King Charles, but I have revised my dream to just a pug. A little pug named Henry, and his nickname would be Hen-chan because I can do something like that.

I suppose this is another "no duh." So, I'm just going to lump a few into this one.

1. Danny Phantom is the greatest American made cartoon ever made. Okay, that's probably not true, because I also like Rugrats, Doug, Phineas and Ferb, etc. I just like Danny Phantom... a lot.

2. Sailor Moon and Full House describe my childhood, oh, and Boy Meets World (along with the normal stuff like Blues Clues, Powerpuff Girls, Dexter's Laboratory, etc.... Do you see now why I love nostalgia so much?).

3. Now, all I seem to watch is Glee, those trashy reality shows on MTV (Teen Mom, I Used to be Fat), and almost every show on TLC.

Music.

I could go on and on about how glorious music is. All kinds of music.

But I'm sure you're aware of this by now.

Or at least, you should be.

(OKAY. In brief, I have played to flute since I was nine, picked up the piano a year ago, and I love to sing, and have loved to sing since as long as I could remember. I once even tried to sing myself to sleep when I was little. Of course, we should mention my obsession with listening to just about any kind of music except for like hip hop, rap (because they are the same thing in my mind), and twangy country music)

Bows make the world go round. They also complete every outfit. Whenever I am drawing something, and it's lacking something, I just add a bow.

And it's perfect then.

This is another requirement for perfection in Neffyland. I could wear a lot of bows.

Okay, you can get over how totally cute this picture is now (false. you will never get over how cute this picture is).

I love children. I think this is because I'm a girl, but then again, everyone should love children.

I honestly am looking forward to the day I can have my own (but don't hold your breath.. It will most likely be YEARS before this will happen).

Also, I like Harry Potter a lot.

I am a lazy OCD person. I love having everything organized and clean and perfect, always. This really sucks when you have a bunch of room mates who... don't care... ever. So, I could give into these urges to seriously deep clean everything, but I don't because they would get like a million times worse or something.

Also, I never knew how much I liked having things neat and clean until I came to college. It makes me want to go home and clean my room, but when I get home, the last thing I want to do is clean. Hence the lazy OCD.

Last, but not least, I love photography. Just in general, I think it's beautiful. While making this post, I kind of just wanted to put a ton of pictures in the post and leave it be.

But then I realized, I already have a blog like that:

ohlovelyy.tumblr.com

where I complain when I don't want to put it as a status on fbook/my photo blog.

Also, this is kind of my all time favorite photo at the moment. (:

Okay, okay. I will mention my love for my church. It really has shaped me into me.

I love being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints!

Tuesday.

Song of the Day: Blank White Page by Mumford and Sons

Most of my days are filled with procrastination, a bit of struggle, and a pinch of frustration. And for the most part, all three of those terms can describe today.

In all honesty, my life really isn't that bad. I just like to pretend that it is to give me something to do and complain about (because I'm really immature).

My day was planned so that I would go to class, come home, finish writing my essay that's due tomorrow, go to the store, make dinner, do the dishes, reread essay, and go to bed. Here is where life decides that it is a good day to throw me under a truck. During my theory class (which was going well because I got 100% on my last two quizzes), I got three text messages in a row and then a phone call.

I started to freak out a little. Okay, I was freaking out a lot because the last time this happened, my sister's apartment burned down.

It turns out that my room mate's grandpa died. Instead of writing my paper, I spent it with her, trying to cheer her up. It's really hard when someone close to you dies. It's also really hard when someone close to you's someone dies.

It's a little awkward because I'm not sure how to help her out. She just seems... so sad, and I hate seeing her like this.

And I still have to finish my paper (which I just have to conclude), but that's beside the point.

I just wish I knew what to do anymore.

eight to five.

Song of the day: The Dreamer by the Tallest Man on Earth

I am terrified to get a job for no reason at all. You see, I have no discipline, or rather, very little. I have a hard time sitting down and doing what I'm told to do. So, I find having a traditional job terrifying.

But jobs are very important for two reasons:

1. Money makes the world go round.

2. It's something to do.

In the end, people have to get a job though, because those are two very essential reasons for living, you kind of need money unless you want to live in a box (which I don't) and boredom sucks. I mean, think about it, leisure time is time you spend doing things you like. If you always did the things you like, you would get sick of them and bored of the repetition and they wouldn't be very "leisurely" anymore, now would they?

So, the majority of people will break down and get a job. Yes?

But still, I don't want to.

It's not like I won't ever get a job though. For example, over the summer, I am going to have to get a job for those very two reasons. I need money for school and it'll be something to do. We all have to face it eventually and conform, you know. Two of my best friends in this entire world are not going to be living in the same town as me this summer because they have decided to be grown up. And I find this frightening. I'm not ready to grow up yet. Or maybe I am. I really haven't decided yet. I just want to blog/write full time, draw a little every once in a while, and listen to music all day everyday.

Is that too much to ask?

It's really scary actually. My dream career isn't exactly the best one to pick either (author/housewife) because neither will make a lot of income for my desired lifestyle (which I imagine most people could picture). Seriously, I am walking into a lifestyle of debt and eating canned soup everyday (unless I miraculously find an amazingly rich husband, but I don't even want to go down that street. I'll probably never get married and live in a box writing stories for rats on the street).

You see why this is scary? I don't see myself doing very well in the future, but I still don't want to do anything else. I have no idea where my life is going.

But, all I do know, is that I refuse to conform and work eight to five everyday and hating my life because of it.

100.

Song of the Day: 20 Years by the Civil Wars

1. I'm actually really unoriginal, so I am copying Jane.
2. For the most part, I hate living in Utah.
3. I am afraid of the future.
4. I love lemon flavored things.
5. I don't think I'm pretty at all.
6. I love children, particularly my neighbor's kids, Lizzie and Andrew Mac, and my nephew, Jace.
7. I have an obsession with cuddling.
8. If I could, I would wear a dress everyday.
9. However, I live in a windy city.
10. And dresses are expensive.
11. My favorite food is dry, cold cereal.
12. I want to publish a novel so badly.
13. I like to swing on swing sets.
14. And color in coloring books.
15. When I was younger, I wanted to be a fashion designer.
16. And then I realized that I am the least competitive person on this planet.
17. I wish I could sing lower.
18. I look like I'm a freshman in high school.
19. I hate my teeth but there isn't anything I can do about them.
20. Starting a new blog has given me inspiration to actually write more.
21. Some days, I feel like dropping out of this "university" and go to an art college instead.
22. But I am afraid that I wouldn't be good enough.
23. I am slightly OCD.
24. I love eating fruits and veggies.
25. I don't like pineapple or coconut.
26. My favorite color is mustard yellow.
27. Shortly followed by: mint green, peach, lavender, heather gray, and periwinkle.
28. I read the first book of the Hunger Games trilogy in four and a half hours.
29. I love reading.
30. I don't read enough.
31. I procrastinate way too much.
32. I daydream a lot.
33. I hate rain.
34. I have a secret dream where I am in an all-male a cappella group.
35. But then it wouldn't be all guys anymore... because I would.. be in it...
36. I guess that dream isn't exactly a secret anymore either.
37. I use google as a spell check sometimes.
38. I love melting chocolate chips on my tongue.
39. I wish people would send me flowers.
40. I am not flirty at all.
41. I love pugs.
42. I love the feeling of my teeth after I brush them.
43. I get excited when I look for my favorite song on my iPod.
44. Sometimes, I don't think I'll ever get married.
45. I love my room mate, Carly.
46. After I graduate college, I want to move to Portland, OR.
47. I wear blush on a daily basis.
48. I have a lazy eye.
49. I measure portion sizes religiously.
50. I wish my hair was more red.
51. I like water. c:
52. We had the missionaries over for dinner tonight.
53. I am afraid of talking on the phone.
54. I am almost done with my current journal (three pages left!!).
55. Laughing is one of my all time favorite activities.
56. I wish I could sew better.
57. I love Glee.
58. Since going to college, I have not gone on a single date.
59. I look through wedding dresses when I'm bored.
60. I download & listen through a 120 song playlist every month. I only keep about 20 of the songs.
61. I didn't know I had dimples until I got contacts in the eighth grade.
62. Oranges mean wintertime.
63. I am allergic to apples.
64. I almost died while going to Girl's Camp last year.
65. I love Hello Kitty.
66. When I'm driving in my car to a song I like, I imagine myself dancing.
67. I love my car.
68. I have kept a journal since freshman year in high school.
69. It wouldn't surprise me if I was depressed.
70. Whenever there's an awkward moment in a conversation, the first thing I think of is puppies.
71. I hate the "country twang".
72. My facebook language is set to English (UK).
73. I love Disney movies a lot.
74. One of my favorite vegetables is broccoli.
75. I really miss playing the flute.
76. I am afraid of horses.
77. I am obsessed with the music of the Nutcracker.
78. I want to go vegetarian again.
79. But because I don't like the taste of meat.
80. Swearing doesn't bother me at all.
81. My dream honeymoon would be a massive road trip.
82. I wish it was spring.
83. I have never had a real job before.
84. More people know me than I know.
85. I don't like to watch a lot of movies.
86. I have really poor circulation, that's why my hands are always cold.
87. My feet are always cold too.
88. I have been told that I have a subtle sense of humor.
89. More often than not, I have a song running through my head.
90. I have played the piano for almost a year.
91. I don't look good in the color pink.
92. I stopped drawing during my junior year.
93. But I want to start drawing again.
94. I have never owned a pair of high heels.
95. I miss my bestest friends in the whole wide world.
96. You know who you are.
97. I want my first born son to be named Luke.
98. I was obsessed with NSYNC as a kid.
99. I am still obsessed with NSYNC.
100. I'm awkward.

on being shy.

song of the day: Olly Olly Oxen Free by Gregory and the Hawk.

So, here she is. That shy girl who bites her cheeks and her face turns pink at any sight of possible embarrassment. But, you know, it's not like I can help it. I have been this way for as long as I can remember. I don't like public speaking or even going to the store alone, but sometimes I wonder if I am better off alone.

Shy people are often not noticed, but there isn't much unnoticed by the shy person. So many things can be running through my head at any moment that I will find myself just daydreaming. As it turns out, daydreaming during a formal class setting isn't really the best idea. I get very lost in class sometimes.

However, I have decided something. This decision started as a challenge my Institute teacher faced me with last Thursday. Basically, the challenge was to smile more. I know, it sounds so silly, but I suddenly have just felt like a happier person just because I have been striving to smile more. Strange, isn't it?

And then, all of the sudden, this morning it hit me. I have become the person I want to be. Of course I'm not entirely that person yet, but I am getting close. Who is this person? Well, it's someone who is cute, happy, stylish, has a great taste in music, and laughs a lot. I'm sure some people might refute and say that I have always been like that, but today I finally felt like it.

My decision? To be this person from now on.